This blogging lark is sometimes harder than you expect it to be.
I haven’t really blogged as much recently as I was doing, and reading a fellow bloggers first post back after a brief hiatus I realised why. Because I feel like my readers might judge my actions. That’s not because I don’t love my readers, but because no person can make decisions that others will approve of 100% of the time.
I’ve posted quite a lot recently about dates I’ve been on, failed romances, failed relationships, and even crushes. As my healthy life becomes easier to stick to I’ve began focusing on other aspects of my life, and for some reason dating has been the main focus of my energy for the last month or so.
Finding someone to share my life with has always been an important goal of mine.
For some reason I felt embarrassed by this. As if dating too much was a crime. I’ve actually been accused of that a few times recently. It seems that a woman going on several first dates is considered “slutty” but a guy doing the same is just “Seeing what’s out there”.
So instead of owning up to my actions I just stopped writing about them. And then I couldn’t get back into the swing of writing because I didn’t know what to say, and what to keep private.
There has been a few dates over the last couple of months.
There was a guy who planned to move abroad soon so only wanted “fun”…
There was a Dr who disappeared on me after the second date.
There was a younger man who decided he missed his ex g.f.
There was an ARSEHOLE who dared to call me a DICK to my face….on the date…
and then there was him.
Him I don’t wish to talk about just yet. Sometimes saying something out loud can make it real, and the more real something is the scarier the possibility of losing it becomes.
But by finding someone who doesn’t judge me for my past actions, it’s made me realise I shouldn’t judge myself based on them either.
There is nothing wrong with dating, with meeting lots of people and giving yourself options. There is also nothing wrong with liking someone a little too much before you’ve even met them.
The only wrong thing I could do would be to ignore my own instincts.
So I pledge to blog more again, to be the open and honest formely fat girl you all know and hopefully love.
I’m not saying I’ll tell you gory details, but I refuse to hide my actions any longer.
Just as choose which food to put in my mouth everyday, I also choose how to live my life.
And I choose to live it in a way that will make me happy…
Who cares what the rest of the world thinks..
Healthy Hazimax 
“The only wrong thing I could do would be to ignore my own instincts.”
This! The ‘problem’ with developing a larger readership online is that the people who love you will be intermingled with the people who dislike you and the people who are kinda neutral. The great thing though is that they’re all expressing an interest in reading what you actually have to say, and that speaks for itself.
It sounds like you may have come across what you’ve been looking for – wishing you all the best.:)
– James
I know how you feel about dating. You not wanting to write about that is the equivalent of me not wanting to write about my weight loss. I’m not where I thought I would be so I just ignore it.
Haha yeh it’s silly isn’t it, like people will judge is for living our own life and making our own mistakes! You were the one who inspired me to man up and start writing about what’s happening again for reference 🙂
ha i figured. maybe when i am done moving ill take accountability for my eating/working out ish!!!
Girl, I could share some dating horror stories you would NEVER believe. LOL. It was hell while I was going through it but now I can look back and laugh. It was all great experiences.
We blog to let things out, to voice our concerns and our journey. Some will relate, others maybe not. Like you said – WHO CARES!!!!!
I totally agree with all the above! I find your adventures really funny {and some sad}, but I love reading about it all so DON’T stop pleeeaase. 🙂 xx
Awww thanks Debbie
Yes, that whole issue of it being ok for men to date a lot and not women is a sad one. One minute the sisters are saying ‘you go girl!’ but then disapproval sets in. Men usually keep the comments within thier own group but are just as scathing, while patting each other on the back listening to each others slut stories. You go girl! I say.