Man Vs Food

This weight loss business really does take over your life.

Recently I was approached by a journalist who wanted to try and sell my story to the press. As part of the interview she asked my ex boyfriend Dan to comment on how my weight and the changes with it affected our relationship over the past year.

While his replies were truthful yet caring, they provided me with unseen insight into my behaviour as a girlfriend, and how pretty rubbish I was at the job.

It made me think about my current relationship, and I could already see some of my bad habits starting to creep into my new blossoming romance.

Food rules my life now. Not as it did when I was fat, but still to the same affect.

I’d rather eat my lentil salad and cold cucumber soup at home than go our for a slap up meal.

I really don’t want to eat donuts and pies but if the person next to me is then I will follow suit. My willpower is very weak if i am actually around the foods that cause me problems.

Dan used to complain that I’d jump out of bed at 6am without so much as a hug, more interested in blogging, exercising or cooking my food for the day. He was right, I found more pleasure in those things that in the comfort of a hug from someone who cares about me.

I envy all you married sleevers or dieters out there who can eat rabbit food while your partner tucks into fish and chips. I honestly don’t know how you do it.

I struggle enough eating the correct foods when it’s only my own thoughts and desires to deal with, taking someone else into consideration only makes the problem ten times harder.

As you are all aware from a recent blog post, I’ve been enjoying the full throws of a blossoming romance recently. But during that time I’ve eaten more ice cream than I care I admit, shared more desserts, eaten more takeaways and drank far too many frappucinos.

It’s not his fault, of course it’s not. But most of dating involves situations where you enjoy food or drink. What else is there to do in the early days of a relationship? (Keep your minds out of the gutter)

But the more I enjoy spending time with him the more I focus less on the things in my life that I need to focus on. My food, my exercise routine, my nutrition course and assignments.

I’ve never been very good at multi tasking. When I find a new hobby I dive in head first and everything else gets neglected. I’m the same with relationships. Someone warned me of this a few weeks ago and he was right.

I delve in head first and everything else gets cast aside, until the relationship ultimately ends and I’m left with no man and nothing else, because I sacrificed it all to spend time with said man.

So the thoughts have been nagging at me for a couple of days.

What do I really want?

Do I want to exercise everyday? Or every other maybe? Yes.

Do I want to eat healthy? Yes.

Do I want to eat meals out? No.

Do I want to eat junk food? No. Of course I will sometimes falter but generally no.

Do I want to have to put someone else’s problems and issues on the same priority level as my own? No.

Do I want to date? Yes.

Do I enjoy the company of this specific man? Yes.

Do I wish to still be in contact with him? Yes.

Whether or not he feels the same way is another issue.

But once again I’m going to do the selfish thing. Because if I don’t and I end up fat, miserable and single in six months I will only have myself to blame.

So I’ve decided to end the relationship.

I want to spend time with him, I do. But I can’t do that in a way that neglects my new lifestyle.

In this battle of Man Vs Food….

Food won.