Happy Holidays

I hope the festive season is treating you well.

I’m now home after my beach vacation and back to the cold, drizzly, christmassy Bolton. Back to the reality of half eaten biscuit tins, too much mulled wine, and a chocolate orange segment on offer in every house I visit.

I still don’t quite feel festive, but I’m in high spirits after a superb holiday, with a man whom I’m now more smitten with than I was when I left.

So it rained. It was fairly chilly and I spent a small fortune.

But it was the best holiday ever.

And it gave me hope for my future.

For a future eating normally, not covering my lumps and bumps whilst on a beach, and being able to walk, bike, and explore the world with my best friend by my side.

Some days food feels like such a big issue within my life, but there are glimpses into what a life free from an eating disorder would be like, and those glimpses give me so much hope for the future.

A happy relationship? Sure thing…

A sex life in which I don’t hide under the covers? No problem.

Kids someday that won’t have my bad habits to follow? Why the heck not.

Whilst I gained a couple of lbs on holiday, I listened to my body, I enjoyed my food, I maintained a very active lifestyle, and I had a whale of a time.

A couple of lbs here or there do not matter when the ultimate goal is to live a happy, healthy lifestyle.

Here’s to living happily ever active.

A white Christmas….sort of!

This Christmas is very different than usual.

There is no Christmas tree, no presents, no turkey and stuffing with cranberry sauce, no Die Hard or James Bond on TV, no selection boxes, and no mince pies.

It’s just me, and a beach.

It’s been over 5 years since I ventured abroad for a holiday, and the festive season seemed like an ideal time to escape the madness and mayhem back home and experience some rest and relaxation.

So whilst you’re tucking into your pigs in blankets and your bucks fizz, I’ll be sipping cocktails on the beach, watching the sea crash against the white sands, and feeling the sun shine against my bikini clad skin.

You heard me right. Not only is my first holiday in a long time, it’s my first ever holiday as a NON fat person. Now i’m by no means 100% happy with my current body, but I am 100% wearing shorts and a bikini on this holiday. No more hiding under a towel beside the bowl, no more thighs rubbing together in the heat under my dress, no more fear I might empty the pool of water if I jump in.

Of course I’ll be sticking to a healthy eating regime whilst sunning myself…. but it would be a crime not to toast with a glass of champagne or two.

Here’s to a Happy Christmas, and a Healthy New Year.

Back to life…..back to reality….

The end of a holiday is a perfect time to get back on the wagon and kick start weight loss. Not that I have overindulged an insane amount or anything.

I’ve tried some grasmere gingerbread, I’ve drank lots of lattes to stay warm in the frosty weather and I due to an injured doggy we did far less walking than we should have done.

But sometimes a good break, a little time to just relax a little bit, loosen the rules and enjoy yourself can do a world of good. For a very brief time only.

Developing a new habit, such as eating healthy takes 14 days, and everytime you break the habit and have a treat it takes another 14 days to get back into the swing of things again. So it’s important for me to jump straight back on the horse.

Tomorrow I will be starting a 5 day kick start eating regime referred to as the pouch test, all will be explained in the morning.

But for now it’s time to enjoy the frosty view from my studio window, indulge in a caramel latte by the fire, and make the most of the a relaxing weekend before the fresh start begins.

A dirty weekday….

So far my efforts to plan a foolproof holiday haven’t gone quite to plan. Whilst my man forgot to bring any clean underwear, I forgot my phone charger.

His is probably more pressing, I agree, but living without a mobile phone is torturous for me. Every tenth thought of mine is tweetable, but I can’t turn on my phone, and every view I see is teasing me to snap a photo and send it to instagram. My addiction to technology has shocked me.

That said, there is lots here to distract me, although noise isn’t one of them. The hills roll on for miles with snow covering their tips, the farm animals wander and graze outside my window with the occasional call out to a mate, but it’s tranquil, cosy and relaxing.

Or at least it was, until 3 am this morning when Marcus my second dog woke me up vomitting last nights fish and chips all over the living room floor.

He recovered in time for this morning’s walks, and off we went for a muddy adventure through Keswick.

We’re off…..we’re offf….off in a motor car…

Today my holiday begins.

With the car jam packed off luggage, food, dog leads, and dog blankets, we squished the dogs in, then ourselves and headed up the M6 to the rainy Lake District.

2 Service stations and 1 Starbucks and a piece of Grasmere Gingerbread later, we arrive in the quiet hillside location and settle in to our cosy cottage for the week.

Leaving on a jet plane…

 

It all begins today.

I’m waiting for my friend to arrive to begin the long drive to London this afternoon where we will spend the night, in the Hilton no less ( I thought I’d splurge, back when I had money in the bank ). At 6am tomorrow morning we will leave the Hilton and head to Stansted airport where I will fly to The Czech Republic. I will meet the owners of Cosmetic Bliss and my surgery buddies, we will have one night of “relaxation” and then the hard stuff will start. If all goes to plan, my pre op tests are all day Monday and on Tuesday I will go in theatre and have a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. Wednesday and Thursday will be spent recovering in the hospital, and on Friday morning I fly back to the UK and face the long drive back to Bolton.

My suitcase is packed. I have an array of trashy magazines to read on the flight. I even have food for breakfast tomorrow morning. Passport? Check. Boarding pass? Check. Money? Check. Nerves? Check.

Whilst in Czech I will try to update as much as I can ( when my head isn’t down a toilet due to the nausea side effects of the surgery ) and I will let you all know that I’m out of theatre and alive!

Wish me luck!

Hazel Marie