Dieting is bad. I know it. I’m always lecturing you guys about it. Yet when I worry about my weight, when I’ve gained a lb or two, or when I have an event coming up I want to diet.
I’ve been finding it hard to eat well over the last couple of months. In my previous life as a dog walker I thought that being alone 24/7 and having all that access to food was bad for me. I convinced myself that If I had a routine to follow, people around me, something to do with my day, that my mind would be too busy with other things to obsess over food.
The reality is that having a “real” job makes it even harder to eat healthy. Whilst I can’t run off to the shop or KFC on a whim, I also don’t have full access to a healthy, non junk food filled kitchen. I have more distractions but also more temptation.
With the festive season and a holiday approaching my desire to look “slim” is at it’s highest and most dangerous. So much so that on Monday I began a diet.
I know what diet’s do to me. I know that dieting makes me binge in secret and can lead to bulimic tendencies, yet I still can’t always escape that diet mentality.
The reality is this diet has curbed my junk food binging. Temporarily at least. When I’m not obsessing over calories, only food choices I find I’m more able to manage a balanced plan of eating on a day to day basis.
My breakfast of scrambled egg and spinach is tasty yet filling, my office snack of celery smeared with cream cheese is sweet and delicious, but my body craves carbs like an ex smoker craves one more cigarette.
I know that my battle with food is never ending and some days that fact is heartbreaking.
I read stories of people who have won their war with the biscuits. I see blogs from recovered bulimics who no longer struggle.
But I also see statistics….
Statistics like the fact that 80% of dieters gain back the weight they’ve lost and even more within a 2 year period.
Stats that terrify me to my very core, and quite frankly, drive me TO the biscuits tin, not to the treadmill.
I hope one day I’ll finally give up dieting forever. That my days of counting calories or grams of carbohydrates in my vegetables is a thing of the past, but with each day that passes that goal seems further from reality.
Healthy Hazimax 